You Deserve to be Happy
by costedulava
Summary: The Gates of Hell have now been closed, and Castiel finds himself in a peculiar predicament. He is human. His reward from God for closing the Gates is to be human and to remain with Dean and grow old with him. But is it what Castiel really wants? Does he think he deserves to be happy? (TW major character death, rated M for later chapters)
1. Chapter 1

A bright, white light blinded Castiel as he was thrown from his place before the throne of God and found himself hurtling towards the earth. He cried out in pain and hit the ground with a thud. The shockwave caused the trees in the surrounding area to be blown over from the force of the impact and the distant sounds of car alarms going off could be heard from inside the forest. He lay there sprawled out on his back, trying to remember what had happened. He gently twitched his fingers and began assessing the damage. _Fingers, _he thought, running though his mental checklist. _Toes, arms, legs, and wings-_ he froze. Castiel sat up, attempting to flex the wings that jutted out if his back, and nothing. He spun around in panic, looking down at his naked back and at the deep scars that now were in the place of his wings. His heart sped up and he fell to his knees, listening for the familiar sound of angel chatter to wash over him.

Silence.

"This can't be happening!" He cried, fisting his fingers in his hair and then pounding the grass. "I did what you asked! I helped the Winchester's close the Gates of Hell! Why now am I being punished?" He reached behind him and ran his fingers down the new scarred tissue. "What did I do wrong?" He whispered brokenly.

"Castiel, you misunderstand our intentions." A gentle voice said from behind him. He spun around and saw Joshua standing behind him, surrounded by a white glow.

"Joshua, why has God done this to me? Did I not deserve to keep my grace after what I've done?" Castiel pleaded for answer, looking into Joshua's kind eyes.

"Cas, God knows the true desires of your heart. This is a gift. Not a punishment," Joshua took a step towards Castiel and placed a hand reassuringly on his shoulder, "You are a human now." Cas' eyes widened in shock and shoved Joshua's hand off of him.

"This is not a gift! Why in the world would I want to be human?" He yelled, standing up and backing away from the older angel.

Joshua grinned and snapped his fingers, Castiel's signature suit and trench coat appeared on him and Cas was thankful for the familiarity of it. "Perhaps this is God's will, for you to grow old with that hunter now that he is out of a job." Cas felt heat rise up in his cheeks. An unfamiliar sensation often associated with embarrassment. It was a sign of humanity. Just like love.

"God wants me to be with…Dean?" He shook his head in disbelief. "And how does our Father know Dean even wants to be with me?" _Why would he? _Castiel thought. At least the angels couldn't hear what he was thinking anymore.

"He knows what is best for you Castiel." Joshua reminded him.

"I should be back in Heaven, helping everyone get things settled." The Gates of Hell had just been closed after all.

"You've done enough Castiel. You deserve some happiness. Remember that." A flash of light blinded Castiel and he found himself alone once again in the forest. His head pounded as he tried to grasp what had just happened. He was human, and God wanted him to remain with the Winchesters. He wouldn't deny that he had thought about being _with_ Dean before, but he never imagined that his Father would go to this extent. He had been an angel for thousands of years, and didn't know the slightest thing about living as a human except from what he saw from the Winchesters. Even their lives were considered abnormal by the majority of the population. _Well, _he thought,_ if God's plan for me involves Dean, then I should probably find him. _He closed his eyes and focused on Bobby singer's house.

Nothing.

Castiel groaned and remembered he couldn't just zap himself anywhere he wanted. Being a human was terribly inconvenient. He stretched out his still throbbing back painfully and began his trek out of the woods, heading towards the sun. Panic began to rise up in his chest. The Winchesters could be anywhere, and Castiel had no phone, no car, nothing. How was he ever going to find them?

He stumbled over rocks and a stray branch as he continued towards-what he thought was- the way out of the forest. The sun began setting and the trees blocked out what little light was left. After another hour, Castiel was stranded in the dark, somehow deeper inside the forest than he was before. He sat down on a nearby rock and put his head in his hands. He was definitely lost. His throat ached, his feet ached, his back ached, and Castiel was just tired. _Being human is definitely inconvenient,_ he thought again. He rubbed his fingers over his eyes and froze as he heard the sound of footsteps approach him. His heart leapt into his throat when he saw the dark silhouette pull what resembled a shot gun from his jacket and aim it straight at him.

"Whose there?" A familiar voice shouted roughly. Castiel couldn't contain his joy as he saw Sam Winchester emerge from the shadows. He laughed at the look of complete shock on the large man's face when he laid eyes upon Castiel.


	2. We're not a Couple

Castiel opened his eyes slowly, and was disoriented by the bright light. His entire body ached, and his left shoulder was completely immobilized. His body was half covered by a thin hospital sheet and his trench coat had been removed in place of a hideous gown. He looked up and saw Garth pacing at the foot of the bed, clearly frustrated. Castiel had recognized the small man from the last hunt the Winchesters had been on, and his habit of checking up on them proved beneficial.

"Dean! Calm down!" He heard Garth say into his cell phone. "I didn't mean to shoot him! He was in the woods and I thought he was the demon George and I were hunting!" Castiel shifted in the bed as he heard a loud voice, what he supposed to be Dean's, coming from the device. "It was pitch black! How was I supposed to know it was Castiel! It's not like I've ever seen the guy in perso─ fine. We're at the Regional Hospital in Petoskey, Michigan…..3 hours? Fine, we'll be here." Castiel flinched as the phone was snapped shut. "Oh, you're awake. Finally." Garth pulled up a chair beside the foot of the bed. "Listen, sorry about….that."

Castiel tried to think of a way to respond, but his mind was fogged with pain medications.

"Why did you shoot me Garth?" He mumbled. God, his throat killed. He tried to re-adjust himself in the bed, but winced as pain stabbed through his shoulder.

"It was dark, you looked like the demon we were hunting, and I got spooked. Listen, I'm going to go tell the nurse you're awake," Garth went over to the bag of fluids that dripped into Cas' arm and laid a heavy finger on the pain pump. "You'll thank me for this later." He laughed and went out of the room, leaving Castiel to slowly drift back into a morphine-induced sleep.

When Cas woke up again, his mind was slightly less fogged. He rubbed his eyes with his good hand and tried to blink away the blurriness. In the place where Garth had been before, he saw Dean sitting on the edge of the bed, and Sam sitting in the chair opposite. Cas shifted uncomfortably and winced as he jostled the tubes sticking out of his arm.

"Cas man, how are you?" Sam jumped up from the chair to stand beside Castiel's bed.

"I've been worse I can assure you. Nothing I can't handle." Cas smiled reassuringly. He was in a lot of pain, but wasn't about to let the Winchesters see it.

"Dude you must've really spooked Garth. Did you pull a _Casper the Friendly Ghost?" _Dean chuckled, placing a touch on Castiel's leg before pulling away shyly.

Cas shot him a look. He should know that the pop culture references still aggravate the angel. "Again, I do not understand that reference, and I was simply trying to find a way out of the forest."

"Yeah Cas, why were you in the middle of the Michigan wilderness?" Dean asked. "Fancy a look at the local bees?"

"After I returned to Heaven, I found myself in the middle of a field. Joshua said it had to do with God's plan for me." Cas glared at Dean for bringing up his past mental breakdown.

"Did Joshua say anything about _why_ God decided to chuck you out of Heaven?" Sam asked.

"Sam, all I know is that I got tossed out of Heaven, and woke up on Earth human, and… that's all I know." Cas lied. He wasn't exactly sure how the Winchesters would respond to God's intentions for Castiel's human life.

"Human? So you're not freaky fallen angel boy anymore?" Dean blurted, jaw agape. Castiel wasn't too fond of the idea either. All of these new feelings were hard to get used to. He felt heat rise up in his cheeks at Dean's question.

"No, um," He started, "100% human. No wings at all. The nurses were quite flabbergasted by the state of my back." He leant forward and gestured for the brothers to look under the flimsy hospital gown. Sam and Dean came in for a closer look, and Cas heard an inhalation of breath at the sight of his scars.

"Damn Cas, what'd you do to piss off the big man? I thought he'd be happy considering we slammed all of the demon bitches back into their cages." Dean stammered, pulling away quickly. Sam went to say something, but was interrupted by Garth calling him out into the hallway. He excused himself and left Castiel to continue his explanation to Dean.

"That's the thing; Joshua said it wasn't a punishment. He said it was a- a reward," He leaned back slowly into the pillows before continuing, "God wanted to reward me, so he said made me human in order to-" Castiel groaned as the sharp pain in his shoulder increased. A monitor next to his bed started beeping loudly, and a nurse hurried into the room to shoo away Sam and Dean.

"He just needs his pain meds honey. You can come see him tomorrow when he'll be bright shiny new, and ready to go home. I assume you guys are family?" She asked Dean as she fussed over the tubes protruding from Cas.

"Um, not quite, just friends." Dean responded quickly.

"Right, _friends_," She winked, "Some of the nurses aren't so welcoming of _partners_ and refuse to give them visitation, but between you and me, come see your man whenever you like."

"But…I'm not- We're not together."Dean stammered.

She chuckled and ticked off some boxes. "Except for now, he needs rest. Off ya go sweet cheeks. Castiel will be fine with me." She kicked Dean out the door and pressed down the pain pump firmly. "Have a good sleep, darling. Tomorrow all will be brighter, and you can go home with that delicious mancandy."

Castiel blushed as he felt the medication taking effect. "Were….not…."

And sleep Castiel did.


End file.
